Atmahatya

– The purpose of our lives is to be happy – Dalai Lama

Disclaimer – Views expressed in this article are very personal, can be traumatic and disturbing to some. The author does not take any responsibility of its aftereffects.

Atma means “Self” and Hatya means “Killing”. We all have been gifted with LIFE and that too in its most significant and intelligent form i.e. Humans.

What sets us apart from other living species is the ability of our brain to think and react to situation in a much better way.

The 1200gm organ (brain) holds many things including various emotions inside it.

JOY, EXCITEMENT, SURPRISE, SADNESS, ANGER, DISGUST, CONTEMPT, FEAR, SHAME, GUILT, BOREDOM, ANXIETY, CALMNESS, SEXUAL DESIRE, SYMPATHY, TRIUMPH.

and the list goes on…

These emotions take shape at every stage, as we progress and experience life. It can be as early as, in the mother’s womb or as late as making a final death wish.

So why I am writing this, what made me write this. The answer to the question is:

SUSHANT SINGH RAJPUT

Did I know him personally?  – No.  Then why? Why him only? There are many people who commit suicide every day. As per the Lancet report there is one student / person committing suicide every hour in India.

There is a reason, a strong reason. Sushant was in the public domain and that too in the entertainment industry, which most of us adore.

We have seen Sushant on big screen multiple times and subconsciously retained his persona in our mind. This is true for most of the actors that we love.

So, what could be the reason for a youngster who came so far in this industry with his own abilities take such an extreme step and end his life?

Nepotism – that may be cause, and not the reason. We will talk about that later. 

I am no psychologist though I live with one and know some in her circle. But why do people commit suicide? Why did a person like Sushant committed suicide? Let’s look at his background…

A mechanical engineer from Delhi College of Engineering, an avid book reader and having a deep interest in Physics (somebody mistook him for a physicist in Paris airport), and many more accolades to his name.  I did a fact check after the sad news, and sadly we all do the same.

Ironically a person is valued only after his / her death and not when he / she is with us in flesh and blood.

To be truth, when the news was heard, it was felt deeply. Most of us for sure would have been deeply touched! I definitely was… sad and depressed, and my heart was heavy, all I could visualize was his brilliant smile and his articulated acting!!

So, what is sadness? What is depression? Are they the same or different?

Sadness in layman language is a normal human emotion which a person might experience in stressful times.

Whereas Depression is a state of mental health, which can have an overpowering effect on a person life. It can alter behavior and attitude.

In more simpler terms constant sadness is a step towards depression.

Depression is one of the most important reason for suicide.  Most studies reveal that more than 90% of suicidal cases are because of depression.

Other factors which contribute to suicide are being psychotic, impulsiveness etc etc etc.  Anything could have happened in Sushant’s’ case, maybe he was depressed, or it may be an impulsive reaction, but dear Sushant it was not the best decision. You still had a lot to achieve and to live life fully, and should not have been so cruel to yourself.  

Let us talk about the probable cause. Nepotism. It does exist.

The fact is that it exists everywhere, be it the film industry, business house or politics. We all might have experienced it at some point of time in our life.

So what is Nepotism:

A group of people align themselves together against a new emerging threat in their workplace. They form camps and there can be multiple of them.

Even the most popular game of cricket has experienced nepotism all through the years. Talented pool of sportsmen have not been selected in favor for a more connected person or a person close to the captain. It existed from the time of Mahabharata and Ramayana…

I certainly did experience Nepotism in my professional career. My job profile was manipulated to accommodate someone special, (and that too after receiving an incentive). Once I was told to resign stating that HR goofed up as they wanted a lady candidate for this position… Phew… absurd reasons for justification.

Yes, I was sad and depressed, with the feeling of uncertainty for the future.  

Medhansh was not even one at that time. That was the lowest point in my life, professionally.  

Still I was in good spirits, maybe because I was used to these professional dissatisfaction’s. To be honest, I have experienced so many failures till date that this could have been my 10^th life cycle if I had decided to end it every time. 

What comes handy in these situations is the amount of emotional quotient a person possesses. Believe me I do not have much (that’s why so many failures ). You can be super-duper intelligent but if your EQ is low you might live your life in distortion and like a Zombie.

So where does it start from, who starts it? 

The pressure mounts on a child from the day he /she is born. The pressure of expectations, unfortunately created by the very own creators.

At each stage of life this pressure increases, knowingly or unknowingly, and it is at its peak when the kid enters the grade 10^th. In our country it is like entering a gas chamber… (The board exams…). Doubled up with the load of their hormonal changes, many succumb to it, unfortunately.

 As per the statistics the rate of suicide among teenagers is nearly 7% of the total. That is equal to one in every hour….

The overall suicide rate of our country is 18% of the total rate in the world, which is very high. India comprises of 20% of the world population.

 I was lucky that I never had to face that pressure. My parents are happy go lucky (like me) and they never pressurized me.

When I got near to distinction marks in 10^th board, everyone was surprised, including me .

I clearly remember my Dad just asking, What next? I casually answered “Science”. And he said, “Great”. Well, I need to remember this for Medhansh… No undue expectations or no undue pressure. And at the same time don’t let him be complacent also.

As most of us believe, suicide is not the answer to any problem how big or small it may be.

Actually, it is act of cowardice which ironically needs great strength to do it. As somebody described it rightly as “the glorious mess”.

Sushant, people will forget you very easily, more easily in your industry. To be honest, I might also in some time in this rat race of survival. But hopefully your case should dither anyone else to take this extreme step.

You have joined the galaxy of stars that you used to gaze from your telescope, smiling and shining brightly as you used to be. The land on this earth did not give you peace, so you chose to live in a place of your dreams.

Lie there in peace my brother.

As Waran Shire says

“At the end of the day, it isn’t where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I’m going and never have been before”

Be happy guys… Be safe, and most importantly, enjoy life!!!