The Philosophical Beard…

So which shaving cream do you use?

“ME?”


Folks from the late 80s or early 90s will definitely remember this Vintage advertisement from Godrej…https://youtu.be/z4YMGfuAWSI.

Remember that Bearded man, and the look on his face when the reporter asks him the question???

Beard is a collection of hair grown on chin, cheeks, upper lip and neck of humans, mostly adult males… 🙂 and hair over the upper lip is called a moustache.

Hmmm… but why on the earth am I talking about this? Because after 4 decades of my existence on this planet, I have grown one… well it grew more than 2 decades ago :-), but this time I have maintained one!

Yes I am currently going through Pogonophilia.

My love for beards started from the college days .. obviously… by seeing Ricky Pointing doing those french cuts with square cuts. (The Goate style…)

Beards have lots of historical and religious significance. From the ancient to the classical period and from medivial to the modern era it’s the men’s second most valued possession…

The Lebanese, the Egyptians, the Romans, the Indians, the Greeks and even the Chinese.. The beard was/is an integral part of their lifestyle.

So come spring this year, I decided to grow one.. It was a spur of moment decision and the best part of it, it had no dependency on others, I was dependent on myself, (my own dihydrotestosterone…).

Many things in life do not grow because of external factors including money etc., but thankfully beard is an exception.

It can grow up to 27.5 ft if not shaven and not trimmed for entire lifetime!! Yes,I am serious… That’s called Manpower… am talking in relation with Human resource 🙂

Hans Langseth, a Norwegian holds the record for the longest beard,17ft 6 inch in 1927.

Hello,I have no intention to break his record, but it was a needed change. I am getting noticed, a second glance mostly by men. Yes it is a fact, women do not notice a beard as much as men do until is well groomed…

So when I uploaded my photo on Social media, my school buddies responded. (pehla pyar laye Jevan mai bahaar).

One of my buddies even got inspired by my looks and started growing one. My business associate drew inspiration and started growing beard on the first day of his new job… quite an impression I made… Next to Virat Kohli who is an influencer in the stubble look which is prominent these days.

Whilst I was getting accolades from all around the world… I was a fighting a battle at home to save my beard.. 😦

My love birds did not approve of my new look… specially my Junior.

After Pokhram happened in 1998, many sanctions were put against India, similar is my case.

Amongst many, the most important one is, of being devoid of kisses and hugs from my lovebirds.

My junior now kisses me on the blind spots of my cheeks. My wife (blurrrr)…

(please use your creative imagination).

My immediate family including my bro has already given up on me.

My mother is literally in tears whenever we do a video call… Dikro tu Dholakia kutumb no nat lagto”.

Various conspiracies were being metted Papa Jub raat ko so jayenge, tab mai unki shave kar donga”.

Amid all, my beard is standing tall like Mr Modi, more popular amongst NRIs than at home.

One fine day, I had a man to man talk with my wife. I told her that by not shaving I am saving about 3350 hours of my life which will be exclusively hers.

So after a long pause, she said Means nearly 140 days of shopping for me”.

I was relieved. GOD Shaved me… :- ).

Beards come in many style, some of the current trends are

Balbo, Bandholz, Circle Berad

Full Beard, Garibadli, Imperial

Goate, Short Stubble

Medium stubble

Long Stubble

Not to forgot the Scotch Brite style, a term coined by Hiral for my version of beard!

I hope the Election Commission allows me to vote as my id has a clean shaven picture. One thing is for sure, am not going to vote for Rahul, as he might levy tax on my beard following the footsteps of the Russian leader Peter the Great.

He needs to think new ways to generate revenue to compensate for schemes he has announced for the poor. 😂

Am not going the political way but if Abraham Lincoln can grow a beard on insistence of a 11 year old girl and win election to the run a country like USA… I can try it for some months, u never know it may be my lucky charm and put an end to all struggles. At the end of the day I am responsible to run my house without being dependent on anyone!!

The grey hair might help me to be perceived as a more mature and a wise person to some angel funder who could fund my business…

U never know… The Philosophical Beard might help me to conquer my weaknesses, go bold, and hit the right chords of life…

As said by someone,

With great Beard comes great Responsibility.

So keep calm and grow a beard!

Ta!

The Philosophical Beard…

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